And in my 2018 round up I also wrote about so many of the positives that had happened pre-cancer. I think I was trying to find a small glimmer of hope.
I was looking for something positive to cling on to. The truth is I was drowning under the weight of the last 3 months of 2018. As a family we were clinging on for dear life only able to take one day at a time.
We’d only just started the second phase of Bilbo’s treatment, maintenance seemed so far away and out of reach.
2019: The Year of Two Halves
And so 2019 really came in two halves for us, of course cancer has been a huge part of it. But we’ve also done everything in our power to live our lives in spite of it.
We’ve taken every opportunity we can to make the most of every moment and make magical special memories.
2019 has been one of the toughest years of my life. I’m not sorry to see the back of it. But as it comes to a close I realise it has taught me a lot and left me with many happy memories too.
“Never regret a day in your life: good days give happiness, bad days give experience, worst days give lessons, and best days give memories.”
January
Bilbo returned to school and we worked hospital visits around school and ordinary life. And forever in debt to all the people who’ve donated blood as we needed a lot of it in the first half of 2019.
It is important for Bilbo to stay as mobile as he feels comfortable with. We take a trailer or the double pushchair so he can take breaks or just be with us in the fresh air. It is also important we try to do “normal” things for Harrison too.
Grandma and Bilbo at the library
February
Whilst Bilbo plays mummy works 4hrs is a long time to sit around waiting.
We supported World Cancer Day by collecting in Morrisons: World Cancer Day
Rich volunteering at Morrison’s on Saturday.
Grandma and Grandad in Nottingham shaking their buckets.
We had a little competition going to see who could raise the most money. Hands down these boys won!!! Well done Nikeal and Jayden. And mummy!
And Bilbo was loving life in the store.
We popped into my office to drop off some cakes. Whilst we were there Bilbo tried out the CEO of Pearson’s desk. There was mild panic when he nudged the mouse and the screen popped up.
I don’t know how people got through so much time in hospitals without technology. All hail the tablet, Kindle Fire!
We had a visit from the very awesome charity Supershoes, they are hand painted one of a kind. Bilbo chose (big shocker) Lego and Dinosaurs. https://www.supershoes.org.uk/
March
Between hospital visits we attended gymnastics at the weekends and the boys enjoyed a trip to see Zog at the theatre.
Bilbo is always taking it all in his stride. Seeing this happy wonderful face reminds me that mummy just needs to match Bilbo’s bravery – if he can do it I can!!
Blood Transfusion Thursday – Bilbo takes it in his stride, bloods is a good excuse for a box of Lego!
Zog was a hit for everyone! Even H who was scared last time we went to the theatre at Christmas. Bilbo was a different child, he laughed out loud, stood up and danced, shouted out and had a smile from ear to ear.
And Harrison enjoyed terrifying us all by climbing the wall very quickly right to the top.
April
Cancer continued to be such a huge part of our lives, every trip or plan was at the mercy of cancer. Through April we completed interim maintenance which was a lot of back and forth to Oxford. But the chemo didn’t stop us from squeezing in some fun and LOTs of dinosaurs.
This is what cancer looks like in a bag…it comes everywhere with us.
It includes an emergency kit for Bilbo’s hickman line, antibacterial wipes, foam and sterile wipes. Manuka honey for when he gets sores, antisickness, a spare bung for is hickman line, caps for his line, and spare dressings.
Here are the Godber boys best dinosaur faces…ROAR!
May
May was most eventful for many reasons We were fortunate enough to get a chemo break so we legged it down to Cornwall for a fabulous week, reconnecting as a family.
But it was also some of the toughest times for Bilbo. He went back on steroids and it nearly broke me. It was during May that I asked for help: Day 211: Asking For Help.
And on one special day we got to meet a certain member of the royal family and Harrison flooded our house.
Bilbo takes treatment in Oxford in his stride. He loves checking out all the toys especially the dinosaurs.
Godber boys creating on the beach.
In total we caught five crabs. The boys loved looking at them and making sure they were not fighting.
It has felt so good to reconnect and be a family…not a cancer family!
This is the reality of cancer. This photo shows the heartbreak, the fear. A big F you to cancer, I hate you for what you have done to our family!
When Bilbo and harrison met Prince Harry
Flood water pouring through our living room ceiling.
June
We enjoyed the warmer weather (and the odd bit of rain) through June. However it continued to be a tough month for Bilbo and he lost his hair for the second time.
Harrison enjoyed bird watching with his homemade binoculars from nursery.
Bilbo has never had his face painted, we’ve queued many times at fetes and he’s always changed his mind. He LOVED it and asked the lady in secret to do mummy. We are matching although i’ve got a little bit of purple and glitter because “mummy likes sparkles”Learning to drive at Lego LandHad the best time with my bestie Gemma at the Spice Girls. They were awesome and so was Gem!On Sunday we went on a scarecrow walk. The boys loved all the Harry Potter entries.
July
In July, Harrison turned 3, Bilbo finished school for the summer, our beautiful friends Andy and Andy visited from Australia. And we had an unexpected visit to hospital but we also finished phase four of the treatment.
Bilbo’s Harry Potter obsession has gone up a notch this week. He’s dreaming about Harry Potter, he’s watched one more movie and he’s begging for me to complete his blind bag set and his reward chart is 68 stickers away from him earning the Hogwarts Express. And here is Bilbo having his last vincristine chemo, whilst casually chilling with his daddy’s iPad.Living our best life hanging on a canal boat.
Bilbo asked the poor doctor lots and lots of questions including “why do people die” he was awesome managing a very curious mind.
Bilbo needed another transfusion of the red stuff. A HUGE reminder that blood is always in need, if you can please give blood. #donate4bilbo
This cake was delicious Sharmaine made our wedding cake and made Bilbo’s 3rd birthday cake. Her cakes are delicious and hold a special place in our hearts!
August
August felt like a turning point for us. Maintenance started, Bilbo’s hair started to grow back, we drew up a countdown for all the exciting things we had to look forward to.
Harrison tried out horse riding and we enjoyed the heatwave.
And this is Bilbo on 100% personality over drive. Harrison enjoyed horse riding at The Henry Allen Trust fun day.
These guys!!!
Meeting Peter Rabbit
Meeting Ubercorn from Go Jetters.
September
September was a very important month, Nanny turned 60 and we all headed to Cornwall for some family time. Bilbo’s wiggle was removed and he started back at school.
Rounders on the beach!
Enjoying our happy place, Cornwall was just what we needed although Bilbo was desperate to get swimming…there were a few moments we had to remind him NOT YET!!
Digging a BIG hole!
Enjoying family time on the beach!
First day back at school. Bilbo was so excited to be starting in year one!
Bilbo was so happy to wake up wiggle free! Look at that smile!
October
We were finally able to travel abroad in October and headed to Ibiza. We also celebrated Bilbo’s birthday. It was so important to us to be able to celebrate his life when a year before we were faced with the devastating news he had cancer.
Bilbo celebrated in Ibiza and by going to Harry Potter World.
Ibiza Crew 2019 what a group of people to share the week with!!! Loved every minute (even when the kids whinged)
Bilbo loved the big waves the beach had and really took to body boarding!!! We couldn’t get him out of the water!
Mini Disco fun!
Second attempt at a family photo…
Bilbo turned 6! It was a day filled with high emotions, thinking back to next year when Bilbo was clearly starting to get poorly. I’m grateful we were given the opportunity to celebrate his life. And what a way to celebrate!
Bilbo smashed his 10m swimming badge – we couldn’t be prouder!
Catching a ride on the Knight bus
November
For the last two months of the year we’ve dared to feel normal, we’ve dared to start believing that we can have just a little bit of control back. We’ve enjoyed fresh air, family time and meeting Tom Hardy (as you do)
I’m running for my boys.
When Rich met Tom Hardy
My little mini superhero Harrison
Harrison is looking so grown up but he will always be my baby.
Autumn walks with Grandma and Grandad.
My Baby Shark
December
And with trepidation December arrived and the truth is I HAVE BLOODY LOVED EVERY SECOND! I am so incredibly grateful cancer has allowed us to have some normality. Our boys have been able to enjoy the magic.
And an especially HUGE thanks to Dawn for bringing the magic of the elf. I know i’ve not been a fan of that creepy little doll. But seeing the boys faces every morning has made it worth it!
This is the last time the boys will have their photo taken together at Tippy Toes as H will go to big school next year.
Bilbo taking his lumbar puncture in his stride. Not so keen on the cannula they put in when he’s asleep, but he enjoyed the chocolate muffin.
Bilbo smashed his Stage 2 Swim England badge. We’re so proud of him.
Our annual trip to get our fresh Christmas tree.
Oxford Christmas Party 2018 vs 2019.
Harrison meeting Santa.
Christmas fun with Dawn and Mark and the whole Henry Allen Trust
Bilbo meeting the Big Elf who gave him our very own Elfie
Elfie and Pebbles enjoyed lots of fun together!
The icing on the cake for the year was Bilbo earning “Star of the Week” for the final week of school in 2018. We couldn’t be prouder, he’s worked so hard to earn this.
Bilbo made the front page of the local paper for their Christmas special edition. For being in CLIC Sargent’s Christmas campaign.
Ready for Santa
Christmas Day 2019, I can’t tell you how amazing it felt to be together and enjoying the day. We were in such a different place in 2018. I was grateful for every “NORMAL” second.
To everyone who has been a part of our 2019 journey we appreciate you and want to express our sincere thanks. The love and support throughout the year has meant so much to us.
When the clock strikes midnight…we will have 807 days of treatment left. 2020 will bring us one step closer to finishing.
Welcome 2020
And 2020 is a big year for us…Harrison will be starting BIG school, Rich turns 40, Rich and I will be celebrating our 10 year anniversary and we have booked Disney World.
We will continue to support the cancer charities that are important to us.
And as a family we will continue supporting refugees.
So expect big things from the Godber’s in 2020 we’re ready for it!
Pre D Day we were explorers of the big wide world we used our blog and facebook page to capture our experiences as a living breathing record of our journey through life.
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Rich and I are busy working parents and we understand that family time is precious, we share how we maximise our time together.
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We believe you only get one life so make sure you live it!
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In October 2018 it was with the heaviest of hearts, we shared the news our amazing gorgeous Bilbo, had been diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukaemia (ALL).
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In March 2021 we relocated from Milton Keynes to Brixham, Devon. We hope to share more of that journey as we finally get through cancer.
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I try to share an honest and frank account of what life is like for a family and child living with cancer.
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We may not be travelling very far for a while but we will continue to make every day count.
